booforce:

my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you

(Source: biforce, via hi)

punacceptable:

*grabs my own ass* nice

(via hi)

tupacaroni:

why are mondays so long they take like 3 days to finish

(via hi)

guntoyourhead:

alcohol is not the answer

alcohol is the question, yes is the answer

(via thefinalquack)

overnight-shipping:

kittanzer0:

so on the bus this morning

we stop at a red light and this lady gets off

she goes about half a block down, and then we saw her freeze and run after the bus

SHE FORGOT HER ENTIRE BABY ON THE BUS

I love the use of the word entire as in she could have just left the leg of the baby but no she left the whole baby

(via destiel-with-the-doctor)

relahvant:

*puts metaphor between teeth* it’s a cigarette

(via hi)

"It’s tough to get out of bed; I know that myself. You can lie there for an hour and a half without thinking anything, just worrying about what the day holds and knowing that you won’t be able to deal with it."

It’s Kind of a Funny Story (Ned Vizzini)

(Source: wordsthat-speak, via budandvodka)